By Trevor Pacelli
​Everybody seems to have a niche that defines their life. Steve Jobs was all about the iPhone. Dr. Seuss was all about his whimsical children’s books. Wes Anderson is all about his quirky movies full of symmetrical imagery. Taylor Swift is all about country and pop music. But what about you? Maybe you’ve reached the age of forty or even fifty and still feel you never found your niche in life? You’re not alone. I am thirty-two, yet have spent my life so far coasting between potential niches, including drawing, theater, movies, movie reviewing, photography, cooking, social media, and writing. I’ve repeatedly felt what I’ve been pursuing wasn’t working and I needed to start all over again to discover my niche.

By Trevor Pacelli
Have you ever heard of “Cozy Gaming?” Unlike the first-person shooter games we all are quick to associate with the concept of video games, a “cozy game” involves taking your time without dire consequences, doing stuff like raising animals, designing a house, or developing a farm. As a young adult on the autism spectrum, these types of games have helped me considerably in several ways and could help other kids and adults in relating to others.

By Trevor Pacelli
The Christmas season marks the time to give your kids all sorts of gifts, many coming from the ever-evolving video game industry that brings kids and adults much joy. Throughout my childhood, I only recall the grownups around me dismissing video games as nothing more than mental junk food for kids, but that didn’t stop me from asking my parents to get me plenty of games for my Gameboy Advance SP and Nintendo DS. Back then, I had a special interest in Pokémon, which was why I got the Gameboy and DS games in the first place, and today, as an adult with mental health problems like autism and anxiety, my continued special interest helped me reconsider my practices of self-care.

By Trevor Pacelli
Family and friends are essential in helping you remedy your traumatic memories; sharing those thoughts that are hardest to bring to light will lead you to the path of healing. Anyone on the autism spectrum especially should know this, as contrary to common stereotypes, those with ASD can feel sorrow and empathy.

By Trevor Pacelli
I recently took Michael Pollan’s Masterclass, Intentional Eating, which included Pollan's three philosophies of food:
1. Eat Food
2. Not Too Much
3. Mostly Plants
I came up with three similar philosophies about consuming artistic media:
1. Enjoy Art
2. Embrace Your Tastes
3. But Don’t Force Them

By Trevor Pacelli
Twenty-five years ago, this iconic yellow sea sponge debuted on Nickelodeon and is currently in his fourteenth season with no signs of slowing down. The series has spawned three theatrical feature films, two spinoff series, a Broadway musical, a Netflix film, and another Netflix original expected in 2025. Yet the first three seasons and the first theatrical film were the most influential time for the franchise; the kids who watched SpongeBob during those years carried the funniest moments into modern internet culture, complete with over a hundred different meme templates.

By Trevor Pacelli
The world of Pokémon has long been a favorite of both kids and adults on the autism spectrum, like me. I joined the Pokémon fandom at ten years old, my first game being Pokémon Ruby on the Gameboy Advance SP. Although I drifted away from the games once I hit adulthood, I still couldn’t help but keep up with the franchise. Eventually, I felt the urge to play the games again. In 2021, I bought a Nintendo Switch, and became the proud owner of four games: Pokémon Brilliant Diamond, Pokémon Legends Arceus, Pokémon Shield, and Pokémon Scarlet. While I admit the games’ quality is lackluster, and there are problems with disability friendliness, the chill environments of these Pokémon worlds with the diverse 1,000+ Pokémon delight me as much as when I was twelve. But unlike back then, I got sucked into a component of Pokémon that in turn sucked out what originally drew me to the franchise: competitive battles.​

​By Trevor Pacelli
​After college, I found myself waiting for travel opportunities to come to me. I didn’t want to face the awkward loneliness of traveling alone and I believed traveling with a wife or in some group were my only options. I even did a mission trip to Spain five years ago, but I was put into stressful social situations, and the fact that I couldn’t connect well with my team made me feel even lonelier than being there by myself.
Then when I adopted a dog three years ago, I was motivated to travel to the ocean for an overnight trip with her. It was the first time I booked a hotel room on my own, and had a great time. After that, I went on two separate overnight trips to Portland, which got me more comfortable with traveling on my own. But I still hadn’t gone on a big solo vacation that required an airplane. I had been feeling a strong urge to return to Disneyland, since I hadn’t been there since 2008, and it reached a point where I finally said: “That’s it. Time for a Disney vacation. With or without somebody else to do it with me.”
So, for the next several months, I did a lot of planning on what to expect. My mom gave me a Disneyland vacation guide on Christmas. I booked a hotel room, I made reservations for Disneyland and California Adventure, and two months before my visit, I made restaurant reservations. I looked up which park attractions would have the longest wait times. I researched the most critically acclaimed food items and planned my meal and snack times around them. My sister also gave me some advice, since she had made the trip recently.
As a result of all I did before the vacation, I can proudly say that my Disneyland 2024 trip turned out to be monumental, even life-changing. I truly had the time of my life. Surprisingly, I never felt lonely the entire time, not even at sit-down restaurants on my own. I spent three full days in the parks, pretty much from opening to closing, which might not be possible with other travelers.
The attraction highlights for me were the Indiana Jones Adventure, Pirates of the Caribbean, the Adventureland Treehouse, Mickey’s Runaway Railway, Rise of the Resistance, Radiator Springs Racers, Toy Story Midway Mania, Web Slingers: A Spider-Man Adventure, Soarin’ Around the World, the Incredicoaster, Grizzly River Run, and the Mad Tea Party (which I found is best to go on at night). It was perfectly fine riding by myself, and sometimes an advantage, since a few of these rides had single-rider lanes.
I even found a strong appreciation for the gentler thrill rides like Astro Orbitor and Golden Zephyr, which allowed me to be in the air and feel the relaxing breeze through my body as I took in grand views of the park. It was nice to take my time through any rides I wanted to try. This trip was also my first time seeing Galaxy’s Edge, which is so detailed and perfect for any Star Wars fan, like me. Cars Land was amazing to see as well, it was just so immersive and beautiful to be in at night. The only slight sadness I felt was finding the Haunted Mansion was closed for refurbishment, and Splash Mountain was still in the process of being renovated into Tiana’s Bayou Adventure.
I love good food, and the best thing I ate was the Monte Cristo at Café Orleans. I also loved the raspberry rose macaron at Jolly Holiday Bakery, the bacon at Carnation Café, the chocolate peanut butter sandwich, and of course, those famous pineapple Dole whips! Although I was excited about it, deciding on what food to get was the most disorienting part of my trip. It was a challenge to figure out the best of the best in both parks and make sure to get my money’s worth, and some of the places weren’t always open. The pineapple Dole whip, for instance, I couldn’t get on my last day at Disneyland because of closures, but ended up finding one at the Disneyland Hotel before flying home!
And of course, as a lover of visual arts, I have to mention the World of Color, the water and light show at California Adventure that plays at night outside Pixar Pier. It’s one thing to hear about it and watch a video of it, it’s a whole different thing to see it in person. Watching the showcase of lights, music, and water put into perspective why the Disney brand remains so relevant even after a hundred years. It’s a corporation full of passionate artists who pour their whole souls into pushing the mediums of animation and visual effects forward, innovating new storytelling techniques that enable anyone the chance to tell their own stories.
I’ve come back from Disneyland a changed man, and now instead of waiting for someone else to do trips with me, I’ll always have a major vacation I’m looking forward to year after year. The question is, where will I go in 2025? I’m thinking New Orleans.
Thus, I believe planning a vacation can be one of the most important accomplishments an autistic adult could ever achieve. Not only is traveling alone so much cheaper than traveling in a group, but it’s a benefit to not have to plan each day around anyone else. I’ve been on family vacations where stressing over what to do next and working around hiccups in the trip can take the fun out of it. Yet when I was in California by myself, stress was never a problem! It was easy for me to readjust to plan B whenever necessary (partly also because of my extensive research).
So, planning a solo vacation is a fantastic goal for other adults on the autism spectrum to set for themselves, it’s an enormous step forward in independence and is perfect for rediscovering your potential.
Trevor's latest books are What the Movies Can Teach Us About Bullying, and What Movies Can Teach Us About Disabilities. Meet him at Indie Author Night at Brick & Mortar Books in Redmond, Washington on June 3 from 6 to 8 p.m.